I've only had 5 cans
I've got one more in my hand
If I drink it really quick
I'll look like more of a man
I've had fuck all to eat
And now I'm slurring my speach
Try and down me some vodka
But it's like swallowing bleach
I promised myself
That I'd go steady this week
But with the week I've just had
This shit is just what I need
I've been practically saintly
All this work I've done lately
Think it's high time for me to go and get wasted
Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked
And I can't see a thing
Absolutely wankered, I feel fucking great
Get me another drink
Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked
And I can't see a thing
Absolutely wankered
I've only had 9 cans
And now I can't feel my hands
Getting past the point where I can Comfortably stand up straight
I feel great, but I'm looking a state
And I'm getting the impression
That I've hit on my mate
I'm getting me a reputation
Someone, stop me please
Before I make a scene
I've been practically saintly
All this work I've done lately
Think it's high time for me to go and get wasted
Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked
And I can't see a thing
Absolutely wankered, I feel fucking great
Get me another drink
Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked
And I can't see a thing
Absolutely wankered
Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked
And I can't see a thing
Absolutely wankered, I feel fucking great
Get me another drink
Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked
And I can't see a thing
Absolutely wankered
Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked
And I can't see a thing
Absolutely wankered, I feel fucking great
Get me another drink
Absolutely, utterly, completely fucked
And I can't see a thing
Absolutely wankered