Amnesia

I used to have

Peace, serenity, teaching divinity

Break bread, sipping the blood, eating with enemies

This, that, and the third

Boy did I learn, tables turn

Billy holiday burned down to play when my nerves drown my focus away

Swerving in the locomotive, far from my hopes and motives

Back to boasting at shows to get a standing O

From all the fans I know on some of that

Sapphire rapid fire soul stuff I used to hit 'em off with

But now I'm some ol' "pay the toll" for the way I played the role

Cautious when I lace a flow, cause, pose? think I'm painting codes

Patience grown thin, home sick and haven't been home since

Fuck a rapper, I'm an actor in a film called:

"Leave me the fuck alone until I find a real job"

Busting chrome grills off at these soft hearted breakbeats bouncing with 808's and gray ink

Blue heart, red skies, true art died in the heart of my mind

Kept trying to fulfill this, blank script with realness, even if it kills this

Poet inside

Used to speak sweet with sympathy

Tease to mimic me, sunshine every line you ever sent to me

Heaven sent, heavenly scent that later crippled me, shit

Simple men don't learn, where was your empathy?

Couldn't see the fork in the road

Kept straight forward, straight towards a humble abode we both hate more

Now that I fumbled and folded that open letter said "dead men walking don't dream"

You taped yours, and you told me I could rent it

Thought it was invented for my viewing pleasure

Human error, the apprentice turned teacher, preacher turned God

Couldn't reach ya, just a façade, the main feature

Modified for blogs, podcast the past, hi-definition, she laughed

Pass the message, now I'm guessing that the jokes on me

Cause I'm the only one threatened

The wretched by the windows sketching

Pencil mural of the method, don't sweat it, techniques turning, burning incense

Listening to Billy burn my intent, definitive days that turn my nights to fiction

Friction-less, just a pen trynna pimp this stress, 'cause I couldn't keep a lid on my life

Naïve as the dry leaves on the ground, looking past the tree to the blue sky asking:

Why me?