it's okay that i'm overwhelmed. but i don't ever want to remember this again. is it ridiculous to commit this to a record? maybe it's fair to commit this to a permanence as a feeling that can occur from time to time again. and it happens so that the next time it comes, it at least won't feel lonely. this state, to put it in the context of other experiences. feelings repeat and vary no matter how shitty and how much we don't want to deal. it's okay as a sentiment and as a reminder. and it is okay as if to purchase this sentiment in all change for 99 cents, or it isn't too short. it is how long it is as a thought and a feeling. it is how long it is as a thought and a feeling.