Autumn Plum

Cannonball Statman

I'm walkin in the woods

in the English countryside

a few weeks ago

and I'm alone

and I'm lost;

suddenly

I see

a wild turkey

walkin around in the woods with me

and this turkey

has a big red hipster beard,

and I'm like "whoa! I've never seen a turkey with a hipster beard."

And there's another turkey

and another one

like ten turkeys

in these woods with me,

and all of them have BIG RED HIPSTER BEARDS,

so I'm like "I'm gonna take out my phone

and take some pictures of these turkeys

to show my friends in Brooklyn."

So I take out my phone

and it has this blue case

this weird blue case

and it's not my case

and it's not my phone

and I'm like "I guess this is my phone."

So while I'm taking pictures of these turkeys

these other turkeys

these light blue turkeys

transparent cyan tinted turkeys

with BIG DARK BLUE HIPSTER BEARDS

start appearing

materializing randomly

in these woods

from all directions

hundreds of em

and I'm like

"I've never seen anything like this before;

I've never seen anything."

And to think, back home

a man walks into a train station

and JUST STARTS FLATLINING

and all the emperors of infancy sit and stare

at everything or something becoming nothing

while sir subway masturbator in the corner

fucks off.

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