Bad, Bad Dreams

As I lie beside you trying not to make a noise

My crackerjack heart's all wound up like a toy.

It's these torrid thoughts,

They keep stirring up my loins..

Like a dirty little boy, I gotta see a priest.

I godda go to confession. I'm gonna call the police-

I'm gonna do a bad thing.

Don't tell my mama, don't tell my papa,

Baby, I've been dreamin' bad, bad dreams.

I wanna pledge my "allegiancy",

But I'm a ferocious human beast

With carnal instincts.

Still, I'm a standup guy to every

Gal I meet-all those pretty girls in heat-

I godda see a priest. I godda go to confession.

I'm gonna call the police-I'm gonna do a bad thing.

Don't tell my mama, don't tell my papa,

Baby, I've been dreamin' bad, bad dreams.

This sick, old man once shared his philosophy:

Guys imagine having sex with

Every girl they see. Ever since,

I've tried to debunk this myth;

It's the curse of Dionysus.

These dreams I have, no girl is left unturned.

Your best friend, your sister,

Your 8th grade picture-

It's enough to want to lop the thing right off...

So help me god, I gotta see a priest.