She's got my bathrobe flapping on a flagpole
She's got my choir robe tangled in her concertina wire tattoo
And now my billfold is to water what a train wreck is to a rainbow
And I'm hottie bottled up inside the body of a red-eyed fool
I need a half a tank of gasoline
I need some chocolate bars, some nylons, some cigarettes and magazines
I need some raw meat
Some bed sheets
A window and a little less wind
CHORUS:
I'm doing battle with the Herculean shadow of another man's sins
I'm doing battle with the Herculean shadow of her bathtub gin
She had me kidnapped, abducted, probed, and programmed
And now her mothership is skipping off the atmosphere with me inside
And all these implants are to water what a wiretap is to a sink trap
And I'm a hottie bottled up inside the body of her big brown eyes
I need a hammer and some Vaseline
I need some chocolate bars, some nylons, some Hagen Das and magazines
I need a steel trap
A road map
A thumbtack and a way to cut tin
CHORUS
She's never here
She's barely ever there
I need a q-beam, a mickey and a swat team
This whole Mcgyver-of-ill-advised-love thing just ain't working out
And all this whipped cream is to water what a wildcat is to a wet dream
And I'm a model bottled up inside the body of a red-eyed clown
I need a half a tank of gasoline
I need some chocolate bars, some nylons, some ammo and some thorazine
I need a hacksaw
A golf ball
I'd gnaw my leg off but I'm running out of limbs
CHORUS