Beat The Clock

I was born a little premature

Mom just couldn't take no more

Had no time to learn to cry

Goodbye, Mama, got to fly

Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye, bye

Entered school when I was two

PhD'd that afternoon

Never entered any sports

Didn't look too good in shorts

Got divorced when I was four

[Chorus:]

I've seen everything there is

I've done everything there is

I've met everyone but Liz

Now I've even met ol' Liz

No time for relationship

Skip the foreplay, let 'er rip

You gotta beat the clock, beat the clock,

Beat the clock, beat the clock

I did lots of traveling

Parts of me unraveling

The Army then rejected me

Said I had two flat feet

Wore them out when I was three

Too bad there ain't ten of you

Then I'd show you what I'd do

I could cheat on five of you

And be faithful to you too

But there's only one of you

[Chorus]