If you want to impress tycoons and rubes
You need boobs to fill out a sweater
You need 2 but 3 might be better
(That's one in the back for dancing)
Doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doot doo
Hey, you gotta be grouped
For with boobs you can start a romance off
Make a man stand right up and take his... hat off
(I know it doesn't rhyme, ducky, but it does keep me legitimate)
To make a bull for the earth and [mother?]
Even a cow has to show her utters
And some keep 'em flappin' in the breeze
Some tie then down because if they don't
They would hang down to their knees
You've gotta have boobies
If you want men to offer diamonds and rubies
Why, even a tennis player would knock his balls out
For a chick who fills each cup until she falls out
Big, small, medium, or oversized
They've all got that flavor and it's [immarginized?]
And some, like me, could stand a whole lot more
Some are like watermelons
And some are like knobs upon the door
Two fried eggs will never grab him like grapefruits will
(And they're both breakfast foods)
But listen girls, don't try to fool your lover
Remember, he can go to Good Year if he wants rubber
Some men are leg men and some are behind men
But if he's a boobs man even a blind man'll find 'em
You think it's easy to write songs like this?
Just think if all us girls had boobies with fluorination
We could take the cavities out of the whole damn nation
A nibble a day keeps the dentist away
All [tecockers?] like big knockers
(This goes over great in Israel)
Oh, be kind to your flat-chested friends
Tomorrow she may be bigger than you are
You start out with A-cup and wind up with E-cup
Silicon's a girl's best friend.