Boots Like Emmy Lou's

IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

I'D BE A COUNTRY STAR

WITH RHINESTONES ON MY BVD'S

AND A HUMMINGBIRD GUITAR

I'D BUY MYSELF THE BIGGEST BUS

THAT EVER GRACED THE TRACK

WITH A LOVESEAT FOR THE TWO OF US

AND A SWIMMING POOL IN BACK

IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

I'D WEAR MY HAIR LIKE LORETTA USED TO DO

I'D SING LIKE PATSY CLINE

AND KITTY WELLS COMBINED

IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

I'D NEVER NEED A SHINE

IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

I'D BE SO VERY RICH

I'D HIRE A DOG TO SCRATCH ME

EVERY TIME I GOT AN ITCH

I'D BUY A THOUSAND CADILLACS

WITH LONGHORNS ON THE FRONT

DRIVE ONE 'TIL THE ASHTRAY FILLED

THEN HAUL IT TO THE DUMP

IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

I'D WEAR MY HAIR LIKE LORETTA USED TO DO

I'D SING LIKE PATSY CLINE

AND KITTY WELLS COMBINED

IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

I'D NEVER NEED A SHINE

I'D BUY MY CLOTHES FROM NUDIE

HAVE FINGERNAILS LIKE TAMMY

I'D TEASE MY HAIR LIKE DOLLY

AND MEASURE TEN FEET TALL

I'D TEACH THOSE BOOTS TO SING

PLAY FIDDLE ON ONE STRING

IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

I'D NEVER NEED A RING

IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

I'D DIE WITHOUT A CARE

FLY STRAIGHT UP TO HEAVEN'S GATE

AND PUSH MY WAY IN THERE

AND WHEN SAINT PETER ASKED ME

WHAT I'D DONE TO BE SO BOLD

I'D POINT DOWN TO MY BOOTS AND SAY

"THEY'RE RECENTLY RESOLED

SO FIT ME FOR A ROBE

WINGS AND HALO TOO

BUT I CANNOT STAY IF YOU TAKE AWAY

MY BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

I'D WEAR MY HAIR LIKE LORETTA USED TO DO

I'D SING LIKE PATSY CLINE

AND KITTY WELLS COMBINED

IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S

I'D NEVER NEED A SHINE