IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S
WITH RHINESTONES ON MY BVD'S
I'D BUY MYSELF THE BIGGEST BUS
THAT EVER GRACED THE TRACK
WITH A LOVESEAT FOR THE TWO OF US
AND A SWIMMING POOL IN BACK
IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S
I'D WEAR MY HAIR LIKE LORETTA USED TO DO
I'D SING LIKE PATSY CLINE
IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S
IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S
I'D HIRE A DOG TO SCRATCH ME
I'D BUY A THOUSAND CADILLACS
WITH LONGHORNS ON THE FRONT
DRIVE ONE 'TIL THE ASHTRAY FILLED
IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S
I'D WEAR MY HAIR LIKE LORETTA USED TO DO
I'D SING LIKE PATSY CLINE
IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S
I'D BUY MY CLOTHES FROM NUDIE
HAVE FINGERNAILS LIKE TAMMY
I'D TEASE MY HAIR LIKE DOLLY
AND MEASURE TEN FEET TALL
I'D TEACH THOSE BOOTS TO SING
PLAY FIDDLE ON ONE STRING
IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S
IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S
FLY STRAIGHT UP TO HEAVEN'S GATE
AND WHEN SAINT PETER ASKED ME
WHAT I'D DONE TO BE SO BOLD
I'D POINT DOWN TO MY BOOTS AND SAY
"THEY'RE RECENTLY RESOLED
BUT I CANNOT STAY IF YOU TAKE AWAY
IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S
I'D WEAR MY HAIR LIKE LORETTA USED TO DO
I'D SING LIKE PATSY CLINE
IF I HAD BOOTS LIKE EMMY LOU'S