Barney works down at the A & P
He drives a baby blue A.M.C.
Ain't missed of day of work in 13 years
He's a fire department volunteer
He's got a yard that's always just been mowed
Collected stamps since he was 10 years old
You've never seen a more regular guy
But when the sun goes down on Friday night
Chorus:
Slaps on his Hai Karate after shave
Puts on his Elvis jacket custom-made
Gets in his patent leather zebra boots
Fires up his super sport Malibu
He burns the rubber 'cross the county line
A honky tonkin' fool till closing time
You ought to see him metamorphosize
From Barney Jekyll into Bubba Hyde
Monday morning it's a suit and tie
Attention shoppers there's a two-for-one buy
Tuesday afternoon he mans the wheel
Makes his round in the bookmobile
He's got a Wednesday night canasta game
Thursday's the tourney at the bowling lanes
His friends would freak out if they only knew
The party animal he turns into
Chorus
You oughta see him metamorphosize