Call Me Al
A man walks down the street
He says, ‽Why am I soft in the middle now
Why am I soft in the middle?
The rest of my life is so hard
I need a photo-opportunity
I want a shot at redemption
Don't want to end up a cartoon
In a cartoon graveyardâ€
Bonedigger, bonedigger
Dogs in the moonlight
Far away my well lit door
Mr. Beer Belly, Beer Belly
Get these mutts away from me
You know I don't find
This stuff amusing anymore
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me
You can call me Al
A man walks down the street
He says, ‽Why am I short of attention?
Got a short little span of attention
And whoa, my nights are so long
Where's my wife and family
What if I die here who'll be my role model?
Now that my role model is gone, gone
He ducked back down the alley
With some roly-poly little bat-faced girl
All along, along
There were incidents and accidents
There were hints and allegations
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me
You can call me Al, call me Al
A man walks down the street
It's a street in a strange world
Maybe it's the Third World
Maybe it's his first time around
He doesn't speak the language
He holds no currency, he is a foreign man
He is surrounded by the sound
The sound, the sound
Cattle in the marketplace
Scatterlings and orphanages
He looks around, around
He sees angels in the architecture
Spinning in infinity
He says, "Amen and Hallelujah "
If you'll be my bodyguard
I can be your long lost pal
I can call you Betty
And Betty, when you call me
You can call me Al, call me Al