Last slice of Virginia ham
Is the best that you can eat
She's slender but she's sweet
Now she'd make a good thermometer
If she drank a glass of wine
She's built just like a garter snake
She climbs up like a vine
My friends tell me I'm a fool
Here's the reason I like 'em slim
'Cause closest to the bone
Last slice of Virginia ham
Is the best that you can eat
Now don't talk about my baby
She's slender but she's sweet
Yeah, let's go, yeah, boy
Yeah, closest to the bone, yeah
Now she'd make a first class fountain pen
If she only knew how to write
Um, she rolls up every night
Everybody thinks that I'm a nut
Boy there's one reason I like 'em slim
Instead of round and firm
'Cause closest to the bone
Last slice of Virginia ham
Is the best that you can eat
Now don'cha talk about my baby
She's slender but she's sweet, um
Um, sweet, I got another one now
Um, she'd make a fine piccolo
If she only stayed on key
Boy, she's shaped like a rubber band
And she loves to snap at me
Everybody thinks I'm insane
But here's the reason I like 'em skinny
Instead of full of schmaltz
'Cause closest to the bone
Last slice of Virginia ham
Is the best that you can eat
She's slender but she's sweet
And it's closest to the bone