Crazy Rap

Wait a minute man

Ay check this out man

Man check this

He was feelin'

His way down the street

With this stick, right?

Ay, he walked past

This fish market

You know what I'm sayin'?

He stopped, he took

A deep breath, he said

Woo, good morning ladies

You like that shit man?

Ay, I got a gang of that shit, man

I tell you what

My man on the guitar

Ay, fool on the drums

Everybody just crowd

'Round the mic

I tell you all these

Motherfuckin' jokes I got man

So first I'm gonna

Start it off like this

Help me sing it home boy, come on

Said colt 45 and two zig-zags

Baby that's all we need

We can go to the park after

Dark smoke that tumbleweed

As the marijuana burn

We can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong

It still takes

From here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint

Pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell

Flyin' through Palm Dell

Skatin' on datin' rims

So roll, roll the 83

Cadallac Coupe Caville

If my tapes and

My cds just don't sell

I bet my Cavy will

Well it was just sundown

In a small white town

They call it eastside Palm Dell

When the Afro Man walked

Through the white land

Houses went up for sale

Well I was standin' on

The corner sellin' rap cd's

When I met a little girl named Jan

I let her ride in my Caddy

'Cause I didn't know

Her daddy was the leader

Of the Ku Klux Klan

We fucked on the bed

Fucked on the flo'

Fucked so long

I grew a fuckin' afro

Then I fucked to the left

Fucked to the right

She sucked my dick

Till the shit turned white

I thought to myself

Sheeba sheeba got my

As* lookin' like a zebra

I put on my clothes

And I was on my way

Until her daddy

Pulled up in a Chevrolet

So I ran, I jumped

Out the back window

But her daddy, he was

Waitin' with a two-by-fo'

Oh, he beat me to the left

He beat me to the right

The motherfucker

Whooped my as* all night

But I ain't mad

At her prejudice dad

That's the best

Damn pussy I ever had

Got a bad of weed

And a bottle o' wine

I'm a fuck that bitch

Just one more time

Colt 45 and two zig-zags

Baby that's all we need

We can go to the park

After dark smoke

That tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burn

We can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong

It still takes

From here to Hong Kong

So roll, roll, roll my joint

Pick out the seeds and stems

Feelin' high as hell

Flyin' through Palm Dell

Skatin' on datin' rims

So roll, roll the 83

Cadallac Coupe Caville

If my tapes and

My cds just don't sell

I bet my Cavy will

I met this lady in Hollywood

She had green hair but

Damn she looked good

I took her to my house

'Cause she was fine

But she whooped out a dick

That was bigger than mine

I met this lady from Japan

Never made love

With an African

I fucked her once

I fucked her twice

I ate that pussy

Like shrimp fried rice

Don't be amazed

At the stories I tell ya

I met a woman in

The heart of Australia

Had a big butt and big titties, too

So I hopped in

Her as* like a kangaroo

See I met this woman from Hawaii

Stuck it in her as*

And she said I E

Lips was breakfast

Pussy was lunch

Then her titties busted open

With Hawaiin punch

Met Colonel Sanders wife

In the state of Kentucky

She said I'll fry some chicken

If you just fuck me

I came in her mouth

It was a crisis

I gave her my secret blend

Of herbs and spices

Colt 45 and two zig-zags

Baby that's all we need

We can go to the park

After dark smoke

That tumbleweed

And as the marijuana burn

We can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong

It still takes

From here to Hong Kong

I met Dolly Parton in Tennessee

Her titties were

Filled with hennessy

That country music

Really drove me crazy

But I rode that as*

And said "Yes, Miss Daisy"

Met this lady in Oklahoma

Put that pussy in a coma

Met this lady in Michigan

I can't wait till

I fuck that bitch again

Met a real black girl

Down in South Carolina

Fucked her till she

Turned into a white albina

Fucked this hooker in Iowa

I fucked her on credit

So I owe her

Fucked this girl down in Georgia

Came in her mouth

Now I thought I told ya

Met this beautiful s*** ho

She just ran 'cross

The border of Mexico

Fine young thang

Said her name's Maria

I wrapped her up

Just like a hot tortilla

I wanna get married

But I can't afford it

I know I'm a cry

When she get deported

Colt 45 and two zig-zags

Baby that's all we need

We can go to the park

After dark smoke

That tumbleweed

As the marijuana burn

We can take our turn

Singin' them dirty rap songs

Stop and hit the bong

Like Cheech and Chong

It still take

Ffrom here to Hong Kong

Have you ever went

Ova' a girl's house to fuck

But the pussy

Just ain't no good?

(Say what)

I mean you gettin' upset

'Cause you can't get her wet

Plus you in

The wrong neighbourhood

So you try to play it off

And eat the pussy

But it take her

So long to c**

Then a dude walk in

That's her big boyfriend

And he asks you

Where you from

(Where you from homey?)

So you wipe your mouth

And you try to explain

(I don't bang)

You start talkin' real fast

(I don't bang)

But he already mad

'Cause you fuckin' his wife

So he start beatin' on yo' as*

Now ya clothes all muddy

Ya nose all bloody

Your dick was hard

But now it's soft (what)

You thought you had

To girl to rock your world

Now you still gotta go jack off

Said Colt 45 and

Two Zig Zags

Baby that's all we need

We can go to

The park after dark

Smoke that tumbleweed

(Fades)