there's a kid named dan
who lives down the street from me
and tomorrow is his sweet sixteen
heard that he's been talkin bout me
so I'll just go down to his house and see
hey dan do you remember me
I'm the kid from three houses down the street
yeah this is a baseball bat and now it's time to lose those teeth
well dan is laying on the floor
and my foot is resting against his chest
his mom just went to call the cops
and I think that would be for the best
so happy birthday dan
I hope you learned your fucking lesson
never mess with the neighborhood kid with a bad temper and a weapon