Dearly Beloved
Good mornin', dearly beloved, we've gathered here today
To watch two people we know make a big mistake
They'll stand up at the alter and solemnly swear, "I do"
They'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new
Her daddy's in the front row mutterin', "Oh no, here we go again
We had a couple dates, now she's three months late
And it's twenty buck a plate, I spent", Oh
Good mornin' dearly beloved, I'd like to welcome y'all
To see the side-effects of sex and alcohol
Please, bow your heads and join me in a prayer for these two
Who'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new
The bride is a flirt and the groom is worse
As he's puttin' the ring on her, he's checkin' out the brides maids
Thinkin' that he might take the maid of honor's, honor, oh
Welcome, dearly beloved, we are here this afternoon
To throw rice as these two drive down the road to ruin
With cans tied to the bumper and a dragging muffler, too
They'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new
So raise your glass and join me, here's to the bride and groom
They'll be together forever 'til they find somebody new