Her name is Claire, she's an office executive,
She wears white linen dresses with flair,
She lives with a policeman,
Plays squash on Thursday evenings,
She's in love with Billy Joel,
That's enough to kick her head in
The low-fat, high-fibre girl,
Suns herself by the lake,
She'll be late back to work,
But her boss says it's OK,
You know he really loves her
The diet-cola girl, the sugar-free boy,
The diet-cola girl, the sugar-free boy,
The diet-cola girl,
We all want to destroy
It's really hot, there's a breeze from America,
But she's so cool driving around,
Got the stereo up loud,
Loves her Michael Bolton,
You can spot her in a crowd,
She's the one to hang your coat on
The low-fat, high-fibre girl,
Suns herself by the lake,
She'll be late back to work,
But her boss says it's OK,
You know he really loves her
The diet-cola girl, the sugar-free boy,
The diet-cola girl, the sugar-free boy,
The diet-cola girl,
We all want to destroy
Diet Coca-cola girl,
Diet Coca-cola girl,
Diet Coca-cola girl,
Diet Coca-cola girl
She's not the real thing,
She's not the real thing,
She's not the real thing,
She's not the real thing,
She's not the real thing,
She's not the real thing,
Real thing