See most of my life I never had shit
I felt like an outcast, treated like a misfit
damn near didn't make it on my day of birth
thinkin was I really supposed to be on this planet earth?
I take a deep breath and then another follows
cause hard shit is kind of hard to swallow
see it's rough bein a loner
ot knowing any given day & time I can wind up a gonner
see people got it bad from jump street
an' being short is just another strike against me
I used to get funny looks cause I was small
& tryin ta make it was like runnin into a brick wall
given the odds, I was up against broke
the average nigga would have quit a long time ago
but now I got a record out
I'm doin' shows, people pay to see me turn it out
ow I'm the spice around town
it's funny how an album can change a nigga's life around
I got friends and bitches on my dick
but when they look at Richard, all they see is Bushwick
sometimes I don't know a friend from a foe
and every different day is a different fuckin hoe
and now that my pockets is gettin bigga
I'm meetin hoe who only wanna juice a nigga
they tell me that they love me and all that
but really they just waitin for me to fall flat
so they could get me for my income
take me for all I got and then some
like Trina, ya dig
I fucked up and got too attached to the bitches kid
knowing that, she used the baby to use me
took him out my life mentally abusing me
but as time wenty by I got another slimmy
& she was just like the first one screamin "gimme"
but not in the exact same way
she had a different type of game she liked to play
her name was Crystal, she played the quiet type
and for a little while shit seemed alright
but just like the first hoe homey
when shit got hectic the bitch broke out on me
And it's gettin outta hand G
cause nobody seems to understand me
reminiscing got me feeling kind of low
I broke out the Everclear and then I drunk some more
until it was all gone
ow I'm looking for somebody to take my pain out on
but not just anybody G
I'm a take it on Tamika cause she's the closest to me
full on that Everclear and high on that buddha
get to da house all I'm thinkin 'bout is shootin her
'cause shootin her would be sweet
butcha know what'd be sweeter? If I maker her shoot me
call me crazy but that's what I'm thinkin
I'm trippin from all that smokin weed & drinking
but I knew she wouldn't do it on her own
so I provoked her, punched her, kicked her & choked her
she still wouldn't grab the gun and at that time
I wasn't thinking about no one
damn near crazy I went & grabbed the baby
held him by the door & said "I'm a throw his ass out hoe"
She went to cryin "Somebody stop him"
I said "You better grab the muthaf' gun or I'm a drop him"
she snatched the baby out of my hands
we started fighting, punching, scratching & biting
well we fell on the bed, check this shit
all kinds of crazy shit was goin through my head
so I ran & got the gun & came back to her
loaded it up and handed the gat to her
I grabbed her hand and placed the gun to my eye muscle
she screamed stop and then we broke into another tussle
Yo, during the fight the gun went off quick *bam*
oh shit, I'm hit..............
riding in the ambulance everything is hectic
I can't get a grip, I just can't check this
everybody's crying
could it be I'm dying?
bullet in the head in the bed I was lyin
where's Mika I wanna tell her I love her
with an I.V. in my arm
I took a picture for an album cover
Goddamn the shit's a trip G
5 different doctors with needles tryin ta stick me
I hear my family hollarin' "He needs us"
during the confusion man I seen Jesus
my mom's on the phone long distance from New York
here come the doctors again trying to rip me apart
I got a monkey on my back I can't shake this
I'm havin suicidal thoughts hopin that I don't make it
but I'm a make it cause something's steady urgin me
5 hours passed, I made it through surgery
and the doctors said I wouldn't make it through the night
but God told me everything is gonna be alright
and I'm glad that I'm here G
but it's FUCKED UP I had to lose an eye
to see shit clearly...
aw man, I made it, I made it
and everyone gets to hear my story, I made it
but don't try this at your home
learn from my mistakes
kick the beat in Bido.....