Hey whats going on man, It’s your boy Lil Dicky
Aka Mr. Leftward sloping penis
I got a story for you all now â€" Yes sir.
Now I been dating this girl named Katie, she hot as hell
And her body crazy, vagina shaven and it don’t smell
And I don’t fall for chickens, but this one a little different
Body sickening, plus she really good at making breaded chicken
Got me thing she the one man, even fully clothed, shawty really fun
Get a lotta hos, but none of those come close
I swear this the most that I’ve felt so damn exposed
Oh yeah, there’s one more thing and I know this shit gonna sound insane
But I still haven’t hit it I admit it, I wish I was kidding
Never been up inside before, because she’s only fuck one guy before
And though I really wanna boink this whore
She my sweetie 3.14
So I’m staying patient, and masterbating, and now my heart is sorta racing
Cuz she said tonight will be the night we do some fornicating
Hell yeah, I’m down, I’m about to go all out
I’m gonna poud that crazy, like an elaborate black man handshake
But on the way to the crib, we pass this kid, and he seem to know who Katie is
So I say “who this†and she say dicky, this is my ex boyfriend Jim
And I ain’t usually the one to be the jealous type
But as I’m looking at this dude I can’t believe my eyes
Cuz he’s the best looking guy that I’ve seen in my whole life
He’s got the thickest head of hair, chiseled jaw, an egregious bod
Man this the closest thing I’ve seen to a Grecian god
And now I’m looking at my chick, cuz his dick’s been inside her raw
Aww damn
Man this is crazy, I can’t believe this guy used to fuck my lady
I bet he left that pussy ravaged like Haiti
Katie’s huggin and squeezing his shoulder blades
And I’m buggin and queasy, this aint okay
And then they say, “let’s get drinks†so I say okay
Even though I was about to get laid
Man this mafucka look like Ashton, combined with a lil Hugh Jackman
In other words, he’s so damn attractive
So damn tan he gotta have a little black in him
Now I’m in the back with him, sippin on some yak with him
And he paying for it all, he investment banking
I’m acting, like I aint distracted
But I’m reenacting him and Katie banging
An dnow I’m feeling pissed, so I go and take a piss
Mid stream, I look left and guess who it is
And I had to see, and I was mad discrete
And I got on my toes and I took a little peek
Oh my god Becky, look at that cock
And I ain’t usually the one to be the jealous type
But as I’m looking at his dick, I can’t believe my eyes
Cuz he’s got the biggest cock that I’ve seen in my whole life
And now I’m staring at this dude’s soft dick with a lotta hate
Because the shit is plus 8 like Jon and Kate
And I don’t know if I can date my girl after tonight
Aw damn
I don’t know what to do, dude’s dick is really huge
I didn’t realize a penis could be so smooth
I know she’s missing that, my penis isn’t that
I’m looking closer, I think that his dick has abs
Six pack on a dick, now what the fuck is that
It’s so long and thick, It’s like a punching bag
I’m saying it’s so shaven, head is amazing
Got my dick looking like a raisin
Skin tone insane, man he’s hung like Saddam Hussain, its crazy
What the fuck should I do?
He gotta Ruth’s Chris dick, and mine’s a drive thru
I think it’s time to tell Katie my goodbyes
Cuz I simply can’t survive
After seeing what was in between his thighs, so I tell her
That this dude’s gotta dick that I don’t comprehend
I had to move my neck to see it end to end
I mean the physics of his dick just don’t make any sense
And I think it’s for the best if this comes to an end
Because the sex with him must have been the best
And I would say let’s just be friends
But I think I would just think about his dick all the time, so goodbye
Then she told me dicky I don’t really know what to say
Because I dated this dude in second grade
So I don’t know about his dick, now let’s go home and get you laid
And then I took her to my crib, and you know that we belly slapped
And I gave her an O like I was selling crack, and when I came
I pulled out and nutted all over her left thigh. Aww damn