Fat Charlie gobbles donuts at every breakfast
He grabs a cooler and some water and a shovel and pail
He yells at kids from his car while they ride their skateboards
He hits the beach and he looks just like a whale
All the girls get on their boards and all the boys go to the liquor store
For a six-pack, a carton-o-smokes, Ninja Turtle candy & a pack of Slo Pokes
Fat Charlie's from Diamond Bar
Fat Charlie really wants to be a cop
He buys the officers donut holes and soda pop
He's got his parents all worried 'bout his G.P.A.
Police academy threw his application away
All the girls get on their boards and all the boys go to the liquor store
For a six-pack, a carton-o-smokes, Ninja Turtle candy & a pack of Slo Pokes
Fat Charlie's from Lake Elsinore
(to the tune of "L.A. Woman" by The Doors)
I said I never loved you
You set my car on fire
Then they put me in an institution
'Cause I'm a pathological liar