For Holden
Fall twilight, the dread in my steps towards the loneliest night
Cold and empty, the snowed in streets keep me company
Wrecked and restless, my head in the clouds and my hands left helpless
Shamed and shaken, the grief in my guts keeps the pain in my chest aching
You say I'm selfish, I only care to care when convenient
You said you loved it when we held each other close like a secret
Thought you meant it but you didn't
I thought you lived and died by your word
I thought you lived and died by your word
A sick conviction when I lie to the doorman and sneak into your apartment
Ruined moment, if we laid down now it would be sad and defected
You say I'm selfish, I only care to care when convenient
You said you loved it when we held each other close like a secret
Thought you meant it but you didn't
I thought you lived and died by your word
I thought you lived and died by your word
I thought you lived and died by your word
But your word ain't worth nothing no more