Golden Boy

[Intro: John Darnielle]

Hello there, Paul!

I had a take and I listened to it

And I was ready to send it and I thought:

You know? It can be done better

So here it is, then

Now I'm wearing my boots

Which always guarantees a good showing

[Verse 1: John Darnielle]

You must try to lead a good life

You must do unto others as you would have them do

So that when you die, you'll find Golden Boy peanuts

Waiting in the afterlife for you

[Chorus: John Darnielle]

There are no pan-Asian supermarkets down in hell

So you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts

There are no pan-Asian supermarkets down in hell

So you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts

[Verse 2]

If thine enemy oppresseth you

You must let him oppress you some more

So that when you go shopping in paradise

You'll find those magnificent peanuts from Singapore

With the drawing of the young Chinese farmer

The eastern sun behind him smiling at you from the shelves

If we want to spend eternity in happiness

Well we're gonna have watch ourselves

You must give to the March of Dimes

You must be on guard against wickedness at all times

And you will find that your efforts have brought you great joy

When your spirit is munching on that Golden Boy

[Chorus]

There are no pan-Asian supermarkets down in hell

So you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts there

But the streets of heaven are lined with shelves

And there's billboards of the Golden Boy everywhere

[Chorus]

There are no pan-Asian supermarkets down in hell

So you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts

There are no pan-Asian supermarkets down in hell

So you can't buy Golden Boy peanuts... GO!