(M: Now?
CR: Just a minute...
M: You know my girl...Now?
CR: Jus'...Now!
M: Now?)
You know my girl just called me up,
And she woke me from my sleep,
(D: *SNORE*
M: ...You should...)
You should have heard the things she said,
You know she hurt my feelings deep.
I'm gonna buy me a dog
(D: A dog?
M: A dog!
D: Why?
M: Why?)
'Cause I need a friend now,
(D: Babe, you need all the friends you can get, I'm telling you)
I'm gonna buy me a dog,
My girl, my girl, don't love me no how.
(M: Don't ruin my song, man, it's the only song I have!
D: It was already ruined before it was wrote!)
(M: Uh, where's the verse...)
She used to bring me my, my newspaper,
(M: Here it is...
D: You don't even know where it's at)
'Cause she knew where it was at,
She used to keep me so contented,
But, I can teach a dog to do that.
I'm gonna buy me a dog,
(D: You couldn't teach a dog to do that, you can only train elephants)
'Cause I need a friend, now,
(D: I need a friend, now...
M: Now!
D: Yeah!)
I'm gonna buy me a dog,
(D: A dog. Here, Rover, Fido, Spot...
M: A dog. Here boy!)
My girl, my girl, don't love me no how.
(M: One
D: Two
M: Three
D: Four-Six-Eight-Nine
M: 1-2-3-4-5-6-7-Hike!
D: Hike?
M: Hike!
D: I was late on that one...
M: Oh, yeah...
D: I just got back from Africa, y'know?
I was playing cards with the natives...
M: Oh! Zulus?
D: No, I usually won, ha-ha
M: Gee...I wish I had a glass of water...
D: Why, are you thirsty?
M: No, I want to see if my neck leaks...
M: I'd buy a raccoon, but, John already has one...
D: 35 bucks!
M: Where...where do I come in?
CR: Get ready...
M: ...Get ready...Ah!)
I'm gonna buy me a dog,
(D: Dog...
M: A dog...Hmmm...
D: Yeah...)
'Cause I need a friend, now,
(D: Yeah-yeah
M: Yeah, boop-boop, sh-bop-bop, ram-a-lam)
I'm gonna buy me a dog,
(CR: Try the next verse again...
M: What?)
My girl, my girl don't love me no how.
(M: How
D: Now brown cow...
M: How now, brown cow...I think I'm gonna buy me a dog, yessir!
I'm gonna buy me a dog!
If I was looking for a word to describe what I'm gonna buy,
I think dog would be the word.
D: Would it...would it be dog?
M: It would be dog..
D: Definitely dog...
M: It would come springing from my lips...dog...
D: Springing from...let's get out of here, c'mon...
M: Boing! Boing! Boing! It would be springing from my..
D: Is that it, Tommy? Can you turn it off, please?
Can someone open the door and let us out?
They're coming to take us away, ha-ha, hee-hee, ho-ho...
fade out....Sheesh!!!!