Hard Ball
And us two, alone now
Your bedroom, a showdown.
I lay back, and wonder.
Ten minutes, or under.
We start off caressing
Next minute we're wrestling
And now we're both ready,
Then you think of Kerry, Mr. Wood is very scary
Play ball!
He's there when you're sleeping,
That glove is so vivid,
He takes your attention
And I get so livid.
I cannot, appeal,
Your visions, surreal.
Your shrink says somatic,
I say, pathetic.
We flip in a movie,
Something hot and steamy,
Put on some lotion,
A blasting mental notion, you see Kerry Wood in motion,
Play ball!
He's there when you're sleeping,
That glove is so vivid,
He takes your attention
And I get so livid.
I live by, the ballpark
You hold me, in the dark
Strike out, you're screaming,
Wood on TV, and you're beaming.
I wish I, was losing,
To gambling, or boozing,
But Kerry Wood and baseball,
Don't know why you love it, but I love you after all
Play ball!
Woods on your brain,
And it drives me insane,
But if I want to have you,
We'll make room for Kerry too