I can't believe what Christmas has come to today
All these atheists and judges tryin' to take it away
No carols in our public schools, no trees in city hall
And they wish you "Season's Greetings" at the shopping mall
Ain't you sick of it all?
Well there's a war on Christmas
It's under attack
But this year America's taking it back
"Separate church and state!"
That's what some lawyer said
I say it's time we separated him from his head
You can call me un-Christian,
But that's not true
'Cause have I got a present for you!
It's the thought that counts!
Christmas is as American as apple pie
It's a late December version of the Fourth of July
And they may go by a different name
But Uncle Sam and Santa Claus are one in the same
So boys take aim!
Hey there's a war on Christmas
It's under attack
But this year America's taking it back
"Separate church and state!"
That's what some liberal said
I say it's time we liberated him from his head
You can call me un-Christian,
But that's not true
Buddy I got a present for you!
I hope it's the right size!
O say can you see this Christmas?
Baby Jesus, 'tis of thee
I'm placin' 50 shinin' stars atop
The Statue of Liber-tree!
Then I'll go and jingle the Liberty Bell
Post Old Glory with an elf
If you say I can't deck my halls
Then I'll deck you myself!
Well there's a war on Christmas
It's under attack
Hey this year old Saint Nicholas is taking it back
He's firin' guns from his reindeer, droppin' bombs from his sled
This year if you were naughty you're as good as dead
He wears red and white
And you can throw in blue...
And has he got a present for you!
Saint Toby's got one too
Yeah, we got a present for you
As in the A-C-L-U!
[Growling noises]
Easy, Rudolph!
Down, boy!