(He'll Never Be An) Ol' Man River

I'm on the drug, I'm on the drug

I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix

I saw his body thrashing 'round

I saw his pulse rate going down

I saw him in compulsive throws

I said "I'll have one of those"

Hilary had, Hilary had

Hilary had it in his veins

Hilary had Everest in his veins

Armstrong did moon, was not the same

Heroes explore to give us hope

River pushed back the envelope

Drank the slab, drank the slab

Drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk

I drank the slab that Bon Scott drunk

I injected some of Hendrix's junk

I booked a seat on Lynyrd Skynyrd's plane

Mama Cass' sandwich? I ate the same

Now I'm bored, now I'm bored

Now I'm bored and there's no stoppin'

Now I'm bored and there's no stoppin'

I need another celeb to fill a coffin

Where will I get my next drug action?

Odds on it'll be Michael Jackson

I'm on the drug that killed River Phoenix

I'm on the drug