High school gym, you could never win
Run ten miles, as fast as you can
Only to discover you're last again
Rats...in the locker room
Dreadful minutes that reek of doom
Jockstraps on the ceiling
Morons stink of sweat
My body has no feeling
How worse can it get?
High school gym, you could never win
Push ups, sit ups, jumping jacks
Coach wants us to break our backs
Ugh!...in the locker room
Everybody's looking at my bosoms
Naked in the shower
Packed in like sardines
I'm going to miss lunch hour
'Cuz someone stole my jeans
Now what do I do?
Hup, two, three, four
Hup, two, three, four
Hup, two, three, four
Faster, faster
High school gym, you could never win
Every time you turn around
A bully comes and knocks you down
In the locker room
Always one coach who calls you "goon"
He smells a lot like stale beer
And looks just like King Kong
Gee those were some swell years
How sad now that they're gone
God bless high school gym
And doctor's notes
Yeah!