Some people sit in the jacuzzi
Every night and every day,
They think that boiling water
Will take all their blues away.
To be successful is so stressful,
So the hottentots unwind,
And party, party, party
While they're boiling their behinds.
But not me,
I like my lobsters in the sea.
I get my power from the shower,
Cause I'm a hot tub refugee.
They cannot see the danger
As they watch the bubbles rise,
So they sit and soak for hours
Till they're hot tub hypnotized.
And they say it's so romantic
And the only way to score,
Is to bathe with thirty people
That you've never met before.
But not me,
That's just one place I'll never be.
I'm just a hermit with a permit
To be a hot tub refugee.
I've tried the tubs in Aspen
Where the bunnies go to ski,
And the tubs in California
Full of wet celebrities.
But I swear a hot tub party
Makes my heart begin to droop,
As I watch all those sweet young tomatoes
Try to turn themselves to soup.
But not me,
My onions mean too much to me.
And my soul is saturated,
I'm just a hot tub refugee.