I Hate Men
I hate men!
I can't abide them, even now and then!
Than ever marry one of them I'd rest a maiden rather,
For husbands are a boring lot and only give you bother!
Of course I'm awfully glad that mother deigned to marry father!
But I hate men!
Of all the types I've ever met within our democracy,
I hate the most the athlete with his manner bold and brassy!
He may have hair upon his chest, but sister, so has Lassie!
Oh I hate men!
I hate men!
They should be kept like piggys in a pen!
Don't wear a travelling salesman, though a tempting tom he may be,
For on your wedding night he may be off to far Araby!
While he's away in Mandalay, 'tis thee who'll have the baby!
Oh I hate men!
I hate men!
Though roosters they, I will not play the hen!
If you espouse an older man through girlish optimism,
He'll always stay at home at night and make no criticism;
Though you may call it love, the doctors call it rheumatism!
Oh I hate men!