I Hate Your Boyfriend
(And this one goes out to all the ladies, yes you
The ones at the promenade out at the mall
Holding your motherfucking punk ass boyfriend's hand!
The fuck you coming dressed like that with your motherfucking man
And you don't expect nobody to look?)
Damn, did you see her?
Sweet Jesus!
I wish my boys were here to see this
In their wildest dreams they couldn't possibly conceive this
A vision of perfection
A goddess, a Venus
I mean this girl has so much charm
Wait a fucking minute
What's that on her arm?
(Goddamn!)
Can someone tell me that really ain't her man
I don't mean to be rude but there is no way in hell that that really is your dude
Sorry to be a asshole but let me play my part
But let me take you and him to the set of Change of Heart
You might say whatever
But I know you feel better when you leave the show with me
And it's nice to stay together
We don't even have to go to national TV
We could cut to the chase and right now you leave with me
So what do you say?
Look, I know I'm not the shit, the hottest joint in the ashtray
The way sad shape makes me leave you in a bad way
I'm looking like your future and your man has passed a day
So why don't you give him a pink slip
Thank him for his time
Give him a hug
And let him know this is his last day
Because I hate your boyfriend
Because he can't possibly be fucking you right
You know that I hate your boyfriend
Because I know you are tired of going to him every night
Because I hate your boyfriend
Because he's always by your side, steady fucking up my plans
You know I hate your boyfriend
Because of him you'll never have the chance to get a real man
"Hey Murs, that's my lady"
Man, I didn't even know
But why'd you bring her half naked to my hip hop show
Standing in the front row just staring at a nigga
Damn near forgot my verse just staring at her figure
Seeing her buy a CD, thought she'd get a cheaper price (ha!)
Tits and ass ain't a coupon, although it is nice
To view and pursue, look don't be mad at me
This is simply what I do, and while you in the corner
Talking hip hop in the sidewalk with your boys
She was standing by the exit looking bored, so I had to bring the noise
Asked her how she like the show and what she does for a living
We talked for a while and took an MC to feel the ryhthm she was given
I gave my room number, wondered if she'd come through
She said she'd drop off her friend and be there around two
But then you came with the cuffs and rush her off the floor
Caught the first line of my rhyme before you hit the door
"Hey Murs, that's my lady"
If you have to say that than the woman isn't yours
And if you got to say that then the bitch ain't yours
You know I hate your boyfriend
Because he's a no-game cock-blocking ass bitch
You know I hate your boyfriend
Because he'd hate me if our positions were to switch
I hate your boyfriend
Because he's always by your side, steady fucking up my plans
Because I hate your boyfriend
Because of his punk ass you'll never have a real man
Now this verse is dedicated to your friend's girl
You know that five and a half he thinks is a ten girl
Saying you would trade her for nothing in the world
But she ain't worth shit
Every time you thought a rhyme, the bitch is all on your dick
She's just playing with his mind
Giving you that look with pussy hugs all the time
Now let me take some time to explain the term
Pussy hug means when a girl leans in
Arches her back and her pussy is the first thing to make contact
Then she slowly presses her tits against your chest
Then she finally wraps her arm around your neck
A blatant sign of disrespect
It's not hard to detect
It's something that your boy always neglects to check
And everyone saw what was coming up next
That was him walking into you coming on his neck
Now your boy's life is a wreck
He's making suicide threats
"I can't live without her"
But when you know when you open up your eyes that's what you get
I hate your boyfriend
Because he has no clue to what the fuck is going on
You know I hate your boyfriend
Because if it wasn't for him I wouldn't have to make this song
Because I hate your boyfriend
Because he's always by your side, steady fucking up my plans
That's why I hate your boyfriend
Because of his punk ass you'll never have a real man
You know I hate your boyfriend!
I . . .