I Wanna Be Your Dog

I want a cold wet nose

Claws on my toes

I want a little treat

Whenever I bet

I wanna bark all day

Sit and stay

I wanna sink my teeth

Into your mailman's leg

And I wanna eat dog food

From a dog dish in the back yard

I won't need a fork

And if I take a wiz

On the neighbor's lawn

Well that's alright

He always was a dork

I wanna be your dog

The best friend of them all

I wanna be your dog

I'll come whenever you call

I wanna be your dog

I wanna be your dog

I wanna sleep on the floor

Sleep some more

I wanna sleep on the rug

And sleep a little after that

I wanna crash on the lawn

All day long

I wanna sleep on the couch

Then take a nap

And I won't need a job

Or taxes or TV

I won't need a gun

Just say goodbye

To the evolutionary curse

Of the opposable thumb

Then I'll take a stroll

To the toilet bowl

And have drink

Yeah I don't care

And with doggie style

I'll scratch a while

And lick myself

Everywhere

Cause I know you're gonna love me

Pet me scratch me

Pat me on the head

And late at night

If it's alright

I'll curl up

At the foot of your bed