I Was Hoping
As we were talking outside it was cold
We were shivering yet warmed by the subject matter
My wife is in the next room, we've been having troubles you know
Please don't tell her or anyone but I need to talk to somebody
You said, "Wouldn't it be a shame if I knew how great I was
Five minutes before I'd died I'd be filled with such regret
Before I took my last breath" and I said
"But you're willing to tell me this now
And you're not going to die anytime soon"
And I said, "I haven't been eating chicken or meat or anything"
And you said, "Yes but you've been wearing leather"
And laughed and said, "We're at the top of the food chain
And yes you're still a fine woman" and I cringed
I was hoping
I was hoping we could heal each other
I was hoping
I was hoping we could be raw together
We left the restaurant where the head waiter in his 60's said
"Goodbye sir, thank you for your business
Sir, you're successful and established, sir
We like the frequency with which you dine here sir and your money and
When I walked by they said "Thank you too dear"
I was all pigtails and cords
And there was a day when I would've said something like
"Hey dude I could buy and sell this place so kiss it"
I too once thought I was owed something
I was hoping
I was hoping we could challenge each other
I was hoping
I was hoping we could crack each other up
I too thought that when proved wrong I lost somehow
I too once thought life was cruel and
It's a cycle really
You think I'm withdrawing and guilt tripping you
I think you're insensitive
And I don't feel heard and I said, "Do you believe we are
Fundamentally judgmental, fundamentally evil?"
And you said, "Yes"
I said, "I don't believe in revenge, in right or wrong, good or bad"
You said, "Well what about the man that I saw handcuffed
In the emergency room bleeding after beating his kid"
And she threw a shoe at his head
And I think what he did was wrong
And I would've had a hard time feeling compassion for him
I had to watch my tone for fear of having you feel judged
I was hoping
I was hoping we could dance together
I was hoping
I was hoping we could be creamy together