(If I Had) Kellie Pickler's Boobs
(Spoken)
You see them mountains over there?
One of these days, i'm gonna climb them there mountains.
Last night i had a titillating dream,
(Sung)
Mm-mm, it felt so real to me,
Oh how wonderful life would be...
If i had Kellie Pickler's boobs!
I'd never get another speeding ticket,
Just a warning and a wink from the man in blue.
He'd say, "Slow down, would ya please?"
Once he got a look at these,
If i had Kellie Pickler's boobs.
I'd sell myself a couple million records,
Even if i couldn't sing in tune.
You'd see a lot of me,
On H double D TV,
If i had Kellie Pickler's boobs.
I'd get all the country stars to sign 'em,
I'd show 'em off like Dolly used to do,
I'd go tip for tack,
More hits than astroplats,
If i had Kellie Pickler's boobs.
(Music break)
I'd be BFFs with Taylor Swift and Carrie,
And we'd all hang out in their dressing room,
Thanks to Silicon,
I could finally hold my own,
If i had Kellie Pickler's boobs.
I wouldn't be ashamed to pose in Playboy,
In nothing but my red high heel shoes,
With plastic surgery,
An American Idol i could be,
If i had Kellie Pickler's boobs.
(If he had Kellie Pickler's boobs.)
(Spoken)
So i could, RACK, up some CMAs!
Get it? Love ya Kellie! Mean it!