I'm In Love With John Ashcroft

I'm not even gay so a lot's unclear

but the way he smiles before you disappear

and pats the heads of the Bush youth

and sends 'em off to spy

tells 'em hide under Mommy's bed

and to write down all those words she said

and bring them back and some goodies you'll have

so is there any need to ask why?

chorus:

I'm in love with John Ashcroft

I fought it long but I still lost

to see him in front of Congress well..

I've found what I once lost

I'm in love with John Ashcroft

Don't have the nerve to tell the wife

but she's a patriot and can take the strife

for the good of her country

a lust for power it turns me on

but his head and my heart are already gone

I don't like 'em complicated

so I'm getting while I can

chorus

He's gonna make this country safe you see

that is unless I'm really bad

and mention the 'C' word

that's the constitition boys and girls

but if you've got yourself big enough pearls

it's just like toilet paper

maybe you have heard...

Chorus