England! England!
Let's have a wank for England!
England! England!
Let's have a wank for England!
My grandad told me a story
Back in Euro '96
Before every single England game
He wanked his hairy prick
And to this day he still maintains
He stops us getting knocked out
But he forgot before the semi's
And we lost on penalties to the Krauts
So, this year before the qualifiers
I gave my cock a feel
Before I knew it, we'd beat Israel
And Russia and Estonia 3-nil
But despite my constant fondling
Of my lucky erection
Even that couldn't compensate
For McClaren's poxy team selection
So, we didn't qualify for the Euro champs
Because McClaren tried to shoehorn in Gerrard and Lamps
So I won't get to wank my hairy peepy like my Gramps
To help us win the cup for England
I've had my last wank
I've had my last wank
I've had my last wank for England
Carson wasn't right and 4-5-1 was shite
So I've had my last wank for England
Now while Baddiel and Skinner
Sang about 30 years of hurt
My Grandad wanked his cock off
With his finger up his dinky dirt
And in those days before we'd even heard of meta-tarsels
My old Grandad multi-tasked
His front bum and his arsehole
And I was hoping I would get
To uphold the tradition
And wank for luck
To help us progress in the competition
But McClaren's ineptitude
Has left us high and dry
So the only little wank I'll have
Is with a little cry
So, we didn't qualify for the Euro champs
Because Steve McClaren fucked the team selection up
So I'm not gonna try and make my flaccid knob spunk up
'Cause I've had my last wank for England
I've had my last wank
I've had my last wank
I've had my last wank for England
We played really wank
He shouldn't have brought back Frank
He should've have stuck with Gerrard and Barry