Jock-O-Rama
How 'bout them hawks?
[Incomprehensible]
You really like gorillas
We've got just the pet for you
It's the way you're forced to act
To survive our schools
Make your whole life revolve around sports
Walk tough, don't act too smart
Be a mean machine
Then we'll let you get ahead
Jock-O-Rama, save my soul
We're under the thumb of the Beef Patrol
The future of America is in their hands
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls
Pep rally in the holy temple
An' you're forced to go
Masturbate en masse
With the favored religious cult
Cheerleaders yell, "Ra Ra Team"
From the locker room parades the prime beef
When archaeologists dig this up
They'll either laugh or cry
Jock-O-Rama on the brain
Redneck-a-thon drivin' me insane
The future of America is in their hands
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls
Unzip that old time religion
On the almighty football field
Beer bellies of all ages
Come and watch the gladiators bleed
"Now boys, this game ain't played for fun
You're goin' out there to win
How d'ya win? Get out there
And snap the other guy's knee"
Beat 'em up, beat 'em up, Ra Ra Ra
Snap those spinal cords, ha ha ha
Beat 'em up, beat 'em up, Ra Ra Ra
Snap those spinal cords, ha ha ha
The star quarterback lies injured
Unconscious on the football field
Looks like his neck's been broken
Seems to happen somewhere every year
His mom an' dad clutch themselves an' cry
Their favorite son will never walk again
Coach says, "That boy gave a hundred percent
What spirit, what a man!"
But who cares?
Games over, let's go get wasted, man
To the seven eleven, to the liquor store
Let's party all night and party some more
Another Trans-Am
Wrapped itself around a telephone pole
"I ain't drunk, officer
I just fell gettin' out of my car"
Don't worry about it, son
We were that way when we were young
You've got all the skills
To make a damn good businessman
Watch out!
Oh, it's Jock-O-Rama, save my soul
We're under the thumb of the Beef Patrol
The future of America is in their hands
Watch it roll over Niagara Falls
Jock-O-Rama, that's the law