Join the Army

If your life's not exotic enough

Or you feel like you need more camo stuff

If you're tired of the suburbs and you're feeling bored

Or you wanna go to a college you can't afford

If you want to do battle with an evil foe

I know just the place where you need to go

(Chorus)

Join the Army, that's what you should do

Or maybe the Navy is the place for you

But if you wanna be among the really cool beans

Then go ahead and join the Marines

If you want respect from us all

Then turn off your TV, get outta the mall

Travel around to foreign lands

And shoot up everything that walks or stands

And if you want a new hairdo you can try this quaff

By getting your own face blown off

(Chorus)

If your muscular anatomy is looking grim

Working out ain't cutting it at the gym

You can run around in the desert heat

Build up the callouses on your feet

Breath uranium dust, come home to your wife

And be deathly ill for the rest of your life

(Chorus)