it's the thirtieth year that you climbed up here to fall like a stone heavy in your hands and i don't think you're going back home you fold it in, like a private sin that's been engraved under your skin and the lava lifts you through the pain as you open your eyes to diamond rain and the silver coins fall from your palms and just for a moment the blue turns to white and it's you're done with self blood lust so you entrust it with somebody else you're done with every balm, it's never gone, the scab is somewhere else taken from wrists that were dead you gave it all and now you and the lava lifts you through the pain as you open your eyes to diamond rain and the silver coins fall from your palms and just for a moment the blue turns to white and it's plums float down the brook you ride there's a ram in the bushes from a valentine and just so you knew they dropped you back down with a tourniquet for a promise ring ow you know what you missed