Spent last winter playing in the sand
With the prisoners of the motherland
Damn hotel is feeling like a cell
And even paradise can be so cruel
Sitting by the swimming pool
Trying to keep my head together
In that hot Australia weather
Three days to kill and my per diem's getting low
Cause I spent all my money calling long distance
Calling long distance, such a long way from home
Am I talking to long distance, can you put me through?
Twelve thousand miles but I've got not resistance,
Long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance
Now the Road Hog's face is turning red
Larry's still asleep in bed
Romeo he can't get no head at all
And the Doctor looks on so annoyed
You disappoint me, Mr. Boyd
And the Electric Dwarf wishes he was six foot tall
Now Romeo's patience is wearing thin
C'mon baby, let me in
It's five a.m. and I've been creeping 'round the hall
Got no resistance calling long distance
You sound so close but your such a long way from home
Am I talking to long distance, can you put me through?
Twelve thousand miles but I've got not resistance,
Long distance, long distance, long distance, long distance
Still no points for my merrymen,
Except Ricard, he just scored ten
Now Road Hog's getting drunk again
And I only get to hold my pen
Instead of what I love to hold the most.
I feel so lonesome I could cry
Count the hours as they roll by
It's day time now
I think I'll make a call
Hello long distance, calling long distance
You sound so close but you're such a long way from home
You're such a long way from home