Danny: "Hello children! Welcome to another marvelous episode of Magic Roundabout with me, Danny Bush Blair."
Peter: "Hey, you're gay!"
Danny: "What did you say, Peter? I'm gay? Why, of course I'm gay! Gay means happy. Aren't you gay, Peter, you little squirt?"
Round and round, the magic roundabout, it's a magic roundabout, you come in and you come out
Round and round, the magic roundabout, it's a magic roundabout, you come in and you come out
Once upon a time, there was a boy named Jill who fell in love with a girl named Jack.
People didn't like to see them kiss 'cause Jack was white and Jill was black.
And everybody knows that black is bad! Black is dark and that's not good!
Black people don't even have real houses! They live in their anoraks (apparently the hood).
Whenever there was no people around, they would sneak and creep around,
sleep around each other's house where their beds make this creaking sound. (gasp)
If only you could see them now! He's standing up and she's kneeling down.
Anyway, back to the reading now. Everybody thought Jill was the thief in town.
For no apparent reason, the people in town would see him and just beat him down.
He runs home to his big black family bleeding, leaking, screaming "Ow!"
Then, one day, he went into his father's cupboard and discovered this piece of black metal that was covered.
He put it in his pocket and took it out to the streets. The people that beat him down want to speak.
That's when he found out that the metal does magic, so every time he had it all he had to do was squeeze!
The people that used to beat him down would scream, then all of a sudden they'd fall asleep!
Danny: "Ha! You see... Jill, he found the magic metal. Do you have the magic metal? Check in your father's cupboard or maybe under your big brother's bed. It could be hidden in a sock. Go look around."
Once upon a time there was a girl named Jemima, face so ugly she looked like a spider.
Isn't a dog alive that would want to sit beside her. Boys wouldn't spit on her. Not even for a fiver!
She had a flat chest and very stink breath, and one of her eyelids was slant to the left.
Even the nerds in the class didn't like her; as soon as they see her they start to play chess.
Then one day when looking in the mirror, she discovered these two round lumps upon her chest.
The more cupcakes she ate, they got bigger. So big, that one day they ripped off her vest!
They grew, and all of the girls said "Ooh!" and all of the nerds in the class said "Cool!"
The boys that used to take her for a fool wanted to link up with her after school.
She followed this boy, David, to his house where he put one of them lumps in his mouth.
Jemima was making all types of sounds but none of the noises she made said "Ouch!"
Dave reached down and Dave said "Oi!" 'cause he felt something hard like a toy.
Jemima laughed and said, "My real name is Jamie and I'm not a girl, just a very fat boy!" (ewh!)
Danny: "See? Jemima was a hermaphrodite. Can you say "hermaphrodite"? Say it! Hermaphrodite. Anyway, these things happen and there's absolutely nothing we can do about it, kids. Anyway, keep listening."
Once upon a time, there was a man named James who got married to a woman named Shirley
who woke up early to iron his shirts, so as soon as he went to work she would open her nursery.
She was so loving but so was her husband. Problem is, he wasn't loving her.
'Cause after giving her five kids at thirty, he was in a hotel doing the dirty
with his secretary named Mandy
who had a bad boyfriend called Joe
who had a gay boyfriend called Andy!
Andy's a ho. Andy had lurgies!
Lurgies are fast. Now they're living in Shirley, and to her health that's detrimental.
This is a lesson, but lurgies can be stopped by that thing on the top of a pencil.
And now we go...
Danny: "See, that's a lesson we can all learn from. What's on the top of a pencil?"
Peter: "Uh... ruler!"
Danny: "No."
Peter: "A condom!"
Danny: "No, it's actually an eraser."
Peter: "Oh."
Danny: "Anyway, boys and girls, you have been wonderful today. I'm Danny Bush Blair and I'm saying tally-ho, toodle-oo. Bye bye."