Hi! my name is... (huh?) my name is (what?)
My name is {scratches} Slim Shady
Ahem excuse me!
Can I have the attention of the class
For one second?
Hi kids! do you like violence? (yeah yeah yeah!)
Want to see me stick nine inch nails through each one of my eyelids? (uh-huh!)
Want to copy me and do exactly like I did? (yeah yeah!)
Try acid and get fucked up worse that my life is? (huh?)
My brain's dead weight, I'm tryin' to get my head straight
But I can't figure out which spice girl I want to impregnate
And Dr. Dre said, "slim shady you a basehead!"
Uh-uhhh! "so why's your face red? man you wasted!"
Well since age twelve, I've felt like I'm someone else
'Cause I hung my original self from the top bunk with a belt
Got pissed off and ripped pamela lee's tits off
And smacked her so hard I knocked her clothes backwards like Kris Kross
I smoke a fat pound of grass and fall on my ass
Faster than a fat bitch who sat down too fast
Come here slut! (shady, wait a minute, that's my girl dog!)
I don't give a fuck, god sent me to piss the world off!
[Chorus]
My English teacher wanted to have sex in junior high
The only problem was my English teacher was a guy
I smacked him in his face with an eraser, chased him with a stapler
And stapled his nuts to a stack of papers
Walked in the strip club, had my jacket zipped up
Flashed the bartender, then stuck my dick in the tip cup
Extraterrestrial, killin' pedestrians
Rapin' lesbians while they screamin', "let's just be friends!"
Ninety-nine percent of my life I was lied to
I just found out my mom does more dope than I do (damn!)
I told her I'd grow up to be a famous rapper
Make a record about doin drugs and name it after her (oh thank you!)
You know you blew up when the women rush your stands
And try to touch your hands like some screamin' usher fans
This guy at white castle asked for my autograph
(dude, can I get your autograph?)
So I signed it: 'dear dave, thanks for the support, asshole!'
[Chorus]
Stop the tape! this kid needs to be locked away! (get him!)
Dr. Dre, don't just stand there, operate!
I'm not ready to leave, it's too scary to die (fuck that!)
I'll have to be carried inside the cemetery and buried alive
(Huh yup!) am I comin or goin? I can barely decide
I just drank a fifth of vodka -- dare me to drive? (go ahead)
All my life I was very deprived
I ain't had a woman in years, and my palms are too hairy to hide
(Whoops!) clothes ripped like the incredible hulk (hachhh-too)
I spit when I talk, I'll fuck anything that walks (c'mere)
When I was little I used to get so hungry I would throw fits
How you gonna breast feed me mom? (wah!)
You ain't got no tits! (wahhh!)
I lay awake and strap myself in the bed
Put a bullet proof vest on and shoot myself in the head (bang!)
I'm steamin' mad (arrrggghhh!)
And by the way when you see my dad? (yeah?)
Tell him that I slit his throat, in this dream I had
[Chorus]