No Place Like Home

(Difford/Tilbrook)

I'm faced with the facts

And a fist full of threats

I stand quite amused

At the end of the bed

I have no defense

For what I have said

As a handful of love

Whacks me right round the head

She's growling and stalking

And grabs from a pile

A book that she throws

And it missed by a mile

I'm holding a pillow

And as naked as sin

I'm backed to a corner

With a wastepaper bin

Then up on the mattress

There's no place to go

I'm guilty yes guilty

But there's no place like home

I rewind the hours

To see what went wrong

I plead for forgiveness

And I'm hit like a gong

It seems that I'm guilty

Of smiling too long

When recalling lovers

That now are long gone

I'm guilty youâ"š¬â"ž¢re guilty

So let me be stoned

The past is the present

When there's no place like home

Off with the shoes

And a whack round the head

Your ear rings like a phone

Some explanation

Might patch and mend

A love that's lost control

Now there's no place like home