When they rang to invite you out 'Cos you know they're a couple now And while you still like their company Their baby talk makes you gag And when they get down to pashing on You're gonna feel like a dag
'Cos they're such a cute couple What was once equilateral And the giggling sounds absurd Two of these things are having a snog
So you stare every other way Because you don't want to gawk You ought to bail out and head for home Except it's too far to walk When they suggest a trapezium Their pity adds to your gloom Because they both try to set you up With every dag in the room Two of these things are going the tongue
Now as you adore every flaw in the wall And the ceiling's appealing to you You notice that some of squares On the other two sides have been Room gazing too and soon you're aware That each passionate pair Has a solitary sad case in tow Each agonizing whether it's best