When we pretended to be sleeping
I tried
to see how many of your breaths I
could go withough breathing
I tried not
to move
When the fire
ate the horses then died
your father ran from the stable
i stopped at the stairs
without blinking
and I cried to see
your eyes grieving
and I tried to move
in a dream I was footbound
tied down
forced to stare down the headlights
before they ran me through
and I tried to move
me to watch you as a small girl
at night
you kissed her lips
then two others drew back
a crimson string
and I forced my heart to keep beating
and I tried to move