Keep your windows down
Catch a chill if you will
To turn a trick or two
And learn something new
Turn your colour brown
Be alright for a night
I'll drive you home by eight
And it's a lucky day
And it's an old trick
Sue me if it don't stick
Have another lick
And put it in the back
And if you like
We'll label it the first stone
Let it quench your thirst
You never sank
So don't be sad, sad, sad
I saw him coming
Said my sins ain't worth it
But I know these tricks are older than him
I worked in the circus
And I know on the surface
Though I'm wise, I'm also pretty and slim
We can work it out
You can call the prices down
I'll put 'em up again
Cos you know I'm not a clown
Turning tricks for you
Was the turning of the screw
Well screw this, I'm a fool
But I won't be your fool
(tool, stool, fuel...)
You try my wits
So you know it fits
I'm unusual through and through
No mirrors, no smoke
This trick ain't a joke
I'll saw you right in two
Honey don't be cute
You'll ruin my best suit
Well hang it all to hell
I'll iron it myself
You cut the thing in two
Now what's a man to do?
Well I can't feel my legs
So put the hacksaw on the shelf
[sawing & hammering sounds]