Once I was a lion tamer
Once I was a guest of honour
but the lions turned to dogs
and the honour turned to fog
o'er the kitchen table
Once I was a great endeavour
Once I was a prized embezzler
but the greatness soon wore off
and the neighbours called the cops
in a fit of conscience
Once I was an entertainer
Once I was a friend to favour
but the clapping turned to rot
staining each and every cot
at the local shelter
Once I was a lion tamer
Once I was a guest of honour
but the lions turned to dogs
and the honour turned to fog
o'er the kitchen table
Stand if you're able...