Girl on page 3 (Huh!)
Hey hey hey (Huh!)
Hey hey hey (Huh!)
Hey hey hey
When I was barely 18
Didn't make the A-team
Flunked out of school, it wasn't cool
Mom and daddy saw that I was lost
And cured me out of cost
They put me on a jet plane
Now I'm in the UK, I'm the boss
Stayed with a crazy uncle
A little wrinkled old male
I couldn't figure out the reason
That he bought the papers every day
Until he showed me the way
He turn me on to page 3
Naked beauties staring back at me (Huh!)
(hey hey hey)
I had to meet her
(hey hey hey)
Now that I read her
(hey hey hey)
She's barely legal for love
Girl on page 3
Please come with me
For crumpets and tea
Over my knee
My fantasy
Is a girl on page 3
So I called up Rupert Murdoch
Told him I was 2Pac
Ready to give my exclusive to The Daily Mirror and The Sun
But after we were done
He'd have to introduce me to my favourite naked writer #1
(Wait a minute, wait a minute, you're never gonna believe what happened next)
On came the paper's editor
He swore I couldn't get at her
Unless I take it off at the newspaper till 2017
Sounded like a deal to me
And now I'm her competitor
We take it off together on page 3
(hey hey hey)
This ain't no fiction
(hey hey hey)
I got a big subscription
(hey hey hey)
I got a personal delivery
From the girl on page 3
Please come with me
For crumpets and tea
Over my knee
My fantasy
Is the girl on page 3
We like to shag, watch Neighbours
And have it up on Coronation street
I like a sweet East-ender
We blow a pound, you know what I mean
(bring that guitar lead...
yeah yeah yeah.. I feel a slag I like to brag... alright, alright, alright, alright, alright....)
She's the girl on Page 3
As she's coming with me
For crumptes and tea
Over my knee
My fantasy
Is the girl on page 3
(One more time)
She's the girl on page 3
And she's coming with me
For crumpets and tea
Over my knee
My fantasy
The girl on page 3.