Penguin, James Penguin
Well, the reindeer pull the sleigh
And the elves make the toys
Those are the stories that are well known
To all little girls and boys
But I've got another story
That I bet you haven't heard
Did you know that Santa
Has a secret agent bird
He's Penguin, James Penguin
That dapper little guy
Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux
He's Santa's secret spy
Now have you ever wondered
How Santa Clause keeps tabs
And how he knows when you've been good
How he knows when you've been bad
It's Penguin, James Penguin
That dapper little guy
Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux
He's Santa's secret spy
From an undisclosed location
He's watching me and you
He's got satellite up links in his cuff links
Yeah, he sees everything you do
He's Penguin, James Penguin
That dapper little guy
Like a well dressed duck in a three piece tux
He's Santa's secret spy
Not so very long ago
Santa didn't need much help
But with more and more kids every year
He soon got overwhelmed
He told the elves one Christmas
We can't do this anymore
Then a knight in shining polyester
Waddled through his door
And it was Penguin, James Penguin
He was there to save the day
He had wireless
And GPS outfitted on the sleigh
And Santa said Penguin
Won't you be my ears and eyes
How did you like to help me run
My SCFBI
He's Penguin, James Penguin
And now I guess you've heard
How Santa got his little Christmas
Secret agent bird