I'll have you know, oh I'll have you know
That if I had one, I'd play this on piano
And if I had one of those, I'd sit it on my knee
And count to 1, 2, 3
And if I had one of those other things
You know I'd put it in my mouth
And if I had some of those other things
Oh, I'd put them into jars on the shelf
But I'll have you know, oh, oh I'll have you know
That if I had 10 or 20
I'd have a choir of little children sing along
I'd have a choir of little children sing along
And I'll have you know, I'll have you know
That if she had one, she'd put in in a paper bag
If she had one, she'd put it in a paper bag
This long gone Grandma would put it in a paper bag
Labeled pieces of string too small to use
Pieces of string too small to use
But her autumn leaves are now the dirt
And those summer winds did blow her hair
But now she's pieces of string too small to use
Oh pieces of string too small to use
What's left is pieces of string too small to use
Pieces of string too small to use
Pieces of string too small to use