I'd rather go home
And watch pornography alone
I've got a big collection
A really huge selection
And if I'm really desperate
I'll call my ex up
And have sex on the phone
It beats orgasming alone
Porn is good for the soul
But it doesn't mean a thing invariable
Unless you own a good dildo
But then I bet you think I'm a whore
Sex is a drug
So throw me a bone
It's so innocent
That's why I always phone home, phone home
Because I'm feeling ashamed
That I feel like a boy
Oh, women are meant to act coy
That's why we've got all these toys
Porn is good for the soul
But it doesn't always leave you feeling whole
Unless you own a good dildo
But then you'll all think I'm a whore