Robin, he don't have a lot
But Robin always gives me what he's got
And I know him so well
I feel like I assembled him myself
I'm so glad he's around
Robin doesn't ever let me down
Patrik was purpose-built
He's got swivel, he's got gas lift, he's got tilt
If you're tall, if you're short
Patrik will always give you his support
I'm so glad that he's there
Patrik's so much more than just a chair
Friends like these won't hurt or tease or kill
Like the people in the office always will
Chris, his frame is pine
He's fibreboard, he's solid and he's mine
He's been here so long
He's someone I can pin my hopes upon
And I'm glad that he's here
Chris, I'm glad I bought you from Ikea
Friends like these won't hurt or tease or kill
Like the people in the office always will
They'll push you around
They'll trip you up and kick you when you're down
If they can, they will destroy
The timid and the bashful and the coy
And because of this
They're nothing like Robin, Pat or Chris
Friends like these won't hurt or tease or kill
Like the people in the office always will